blah blah blah i’m so boring

things i was doing last year: making flipnotes on steves dsi and recording hilarious sounds on them with the help of richard. visiting davidson orchard, hardly working, taking lots of little drives to kelowna for no reason. sleeping allll the time. getting very excited for halloween. making halloween costume plans that i never go through with (just like every year). taking way too many pictures of steve sleeping and our roommates cat. being crazy. dying my hair. etc

you hear all the noises around your house and they seem hugely magnifyed everything makes you jump. the tv makes your head feel like it’s about to explode everybody is playing video games all the time or they’re in bed and you sort of wish they were awake so it didn’t seem so lonely.

if the room could just be filled with people you can stand to be around but they were put on mute. they wouldn’t touch you or invade your personal space unless you invited them to do so. your cat wouldn’t jump up on the table or eat your food or stick his paw in your glass.

you’d put a pen down on a piece of paper and significant words and pictures would come out. there would be no other noise and people living real fast you’d be able to concentrate. you wouldn’t feel completely fucking useless, stupid and frustrated ALL the time.

i wish i was a cat and got to sleep when i felt like it and eat when i felt like it and not have everybody think i’m strange. i could curl up wherever looked comfy and lay on everyones lap without squishing them. i’d have all the cute, crinkley toys i could want. i could jump up on really high surfaces and jump down without hurting myself. i’d be small and easy to carry around for once i wouldn’t feel like a giant. i could bath all the time, even in the middle of the living room. i would never worry about feeling chilly because i would be so fluffy.

i feel very ignored by everyone, even on the internet today. my head hurts, tummy hurts, and i read jakes post that mentioned mcdonalds apple pie and now that’s allllll i want (there is no mcdonalds here) wah i would really enjoy any pie right now actually

did so many dishes, they’ve been piling up over the last few days and steve did most of them yesterday. but there were still many left so i finished them and tidied up the kitchen. i had a giiiiiant nap and now i feel really weird and headachey. after my nap i called steve and he said the drive went well and everything. he starts training and stuff tomorrow. uhhh i still feel sick maybe it’s because i had a&w for dinner. after i called steve i watched the first episode of pan am, it was so great. now i’m just sad and lonely.

today is the worst

steve is out of town for at least 3 days and i will end up spending most of my time alone in the house. the past couple of days i’ve started to feel sick again, i’ve been having terrible heart burn. i threw up today and it was all gross and stomach acid.

being so sad about another person being gone is pretty weird for me, i tend to spend most of my time hating everyone and wishing that they’d go away. i spend maybe an hour with somebody and start to realize that i don’t want to be around them anymore. i think steve may be the only person in the entire universe that i don’t get sick of seeing.

i am munching on pretzels, sitting on the couch in a blankey basically staring into space. i could find somebody to visit or play video games with my brother, but i’m not sure i want to. why do more people not bring me food while pregnant? i am seriois about this. i thought people were supposed to visit me with cakes and cheesey garlic toast and stuff. ok well i suppose amanda and my cousin both brought me cakes but cheese toast sounds really great too.

also, i want to clarify this;
as much as i complain about my brother jesse being an asshole i really do love my family most of the time. wayne and marcus have been coming over to my moms house lots lately to hang out with us. we’ve been playing a bunch of video games n stuff, so much fun. idk what else to say. bye

today is the best day ever
the job steve applied for at the oil company called him back and he has to leave for two days to do orientation in a different town. it’s going to be sad and lonely. i do feel a little terrible due to the pathetic ammount of sleep i got last night. i’m just so happy about my newest blog, and in spirit of all things cute i decided to bake today! i’ve started by making rainbow cake which is in the oven as i type. i thought we had rainbow sprinkles but we don’t so i’m a tiny bit disappointed. after that i think i’m going to make some sort of cupcakes! mom took me grocery shopping on her lunch break and i picked out fruit and candy apples! steve bought me two giant bags of skittles. we checked the mail on our way home but no sign of letters from jake or anybody else who has promised to write to me!

i need to write letters etc but i don’t even have any paper yet and i want colouring supplies to cutsey the lettersss up. wah

fam

my family is pretty weird but kind of normal. i have three brothers; ages 14, almost 13, and 8. my mom and dad don’t talk at all except when they absolutely have to which is not often. all four of my grandparents are alive, my moms parents travel often and my dads parents own a giant farm.

my dad has a brother and a sister. my mom has one sister, who is the aunt that i lived with before i moved in with steve. she ignores my messages now because i’m pregnant probably.

uh this is going nowhere whoops